September 19, 2015

If Trump Is A Christian, Obama Ought To Be A Muslim!

Here is why.

Who is a Muslim? You may have heard about Dr. Abdul Kalam, the former President of India, who died this year. He was so popular and dear to the hearts of millions in India that they changed the name of a major thoroughfare in New Delhi from Aurangazeb Marg to Abdul Kalam Marg. One would surmise that Mr. Aurangazeb, a Moghul emperor of 17th century vintage, was neither popular, nor dear to the hearts of millions in India. Actually, they hated him.

Wait, what has all this got to do with Obama and Trump? Patience, patience.

Aurangazeb was a devout Muslim; few would question that. He was so devoted to a 7th century prophet of Islam, that he murdered those who were not so devoted, they say. Dr. Abdul Kalam, apparently, was also a Muslim. It must be true, because India's cultural minister says so:
We have renamed Aurangzeb Road after a person, who despite being a Muslim, is a great nationalist...." the Minister told a news channel.

Not so quick, say Dr. Kalam's critics. Here is what, Dr. Rafiq Zakaria, a well regarded Islamic scholar and former Chancellor of Aligarh Muslim University, and father of Fareed Zakaria, CNN's host, wrote this about the Muslim-ness of Dr. Kalam:
...But because [Dr. Kalam] was born a Muslim and bears a Muslim name, he should not be put in the same category as the two former Muslim Presidents, Dr Zakir Husain and Mr Fakruddin Ali Ahmed. Both of them were as great a patriot and Indian to the core as Dr Kalam. But they were also Muslims in the real sense of the word; they believed in the tenets of the Quran and faithfully followed the traditions of the Prophet... But for God's sake, don't describe [Dr. Kalam] as a Muslim President...
Dr. Zakaria then goes through a litany of reasons why Dr. Kalam should not be considered a Muslim. Amongst them are his refusal of an invitation to visit the Anjuman-i-Islam "to deliver the famous Seerut lecture to pay homage to the Prophet", his enchantment with the Gita, and an anecdote that he was a vegetarian!
Enough of Abdul Kalam, let me get back to Obama and Trump.

Will Obama qualify as a Muslim by Zakaria's criteria? He is certainly not a vegetarian, and to the best of my knowledge, not as enchanted with the Gita as he is with the US Constitution. That figures, because he was, after all, a professor of Constitutional Law at the University of Chicago. He is, therefore, not as not-a-Muslim as Kalaam was, but is he a Muslim?

Obama's father was a Muslim, but according to reports, he was not a "Muslim in the real sense of the word" — he was an atheist! His father's father was a Muslim, I am told, and according to many other Islamic scholars, that ought to make both Obamas permanent Muslims.

Does President Obama believe in the tenets of the Quran and faithfully follow the traditions of the Prophet? It depends on what tenets and traditions we are talking about. I hear he swears occasionally, but it has never been reported that he "swear[s] by the fig and the olive — [Koran: 95.1]"! Birthers like Trump, who may even believe that Obama is an evil emissary from Saturn, won't dare say that he is married to twelve wives. Not when Michelle Obama is alive!

The bottom line — is Obama a Muslim or not? To answer that question, I turn to another question.

Is Donald Trump a Christian? To seeketh an answer, I asketh not that you read the Bible, but taketh a vacation at the Trump Taj Mahal Hotel and Casino, Atlantic City or the Trump Hotel in Las Vegas. Who knows, you may even get a chance to meet him personally, ask him that one "Gotcha" question that you have always wanted to ask Trump, "Are you a Christian?" If the answer is "Yes", then we may rationally conclude — Hume could go and hide in a cave — Obama ought to be a Muslim!

Ah, the mess we get ourselves into with all these fictitious identities!
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