April 9, 2010

The Woo-woo of Quantum Avatars

Apoorva Chakravorty is an aspiring scriptwriter in Mumbai. According to this news story from the Mumbai Mirror, Apoorva, of late, has been besieged by crows that are foiling his attempts to turn around his floundering career. Apoorva believes the crows are the avatars of a local priest, with whom he has had a recent fallout. His repeated complaints to the law enforcement officers have been dismissed as those of a man who "did not seem to be in good mental health". Apoorva's claim is "not scientific and impossible to investigate", they have said. IMHO, the Mumbai police's skepticism is unwarranted, and I hope that after reading this they will convert from a skeptic to a neurotic a neuro-skeptic.

The pujari takes the avatar of a crow (and sometimes a pigeon) to harass Chakravorty
while he is meeting prospective employers [source: The Mumbai Mirror]

To prove that Apoorva does indeed have a case against the priest, I don't have to resort to fantastic theories of transmigration of souls or metempsychosis. When Ennius, the great Roman poet,said, "I have seen Homer in my dream, and he has assured me that the same soul which had animated both of us had once belonged to a peacock", he was not talking about metempsychosis. Ennius had actually foreseen modern quantum physics and neuroscience.

Apoorva is not superstitious. Au contraire, I think, I am going to have to say ... that the Mumbai police is being superstitiously materialistic ... that science is now in the process of overthrowing ... the climactic overthrow of the superstition of materialism. Not the science of the Mumbai police that is really frozen in the dungeons of conservatism and the dungeons of orthodoxy, but the science of Rumi, the great Sufi poet [who] said, "You are not just a drop in the ocean; you are the mighty ocean in the drop".

It may seem that the priest and the crow are morphogenetically differentiated, but what we call a crow or a priest comes from something that is not material. That the essential nature of the physical world is that it is not physical. That the essential stuff of the universe is non-stuff. That the essential stuff of the priest and the crow is this non-sense non-stuff. Since everything in this universe is made of non-sense — arghhh!!! why do my fingers keep taking these quantum leaps into non-sense — non-stuff, I mean, it follows that everything is connected to everything else. The priest's consciousness ... is part of this sea of consciousness, of which the crow's consciouness is also a part.

Today science tells us that the essential nature of reality is non-local correlation. Therefore, the crow's actions and the priest's thoughts are correlated. If the priest wished to disrupt Apoorva's business meetings, all he has to do is to think about it.

[T]here is something called the observer effect, where intention orchestrates space-time events, which we then measure as movement in motion and energy and matter. The space-time event that we are talking about here is ... the space-time event set in motion by the priest's ill-thoughts about Apoorva is ... a hundred cells in the crow's brain fire simultaneously. It's as if the priest has morphed into the crow. The crow flies into Apoorva's dining room, and does what it needs to do, spoiling his guest's lunch!

Why the crow, you may ask. Science tells us that nature is a discontinuity, that it's an on off phenomenon. That there are gaps between every two "on"s, where you find a field of possibilities... between the priest-on and Apoorva-on... the possibilities are the priest's wife, his cow, Aishwarya Roy, Mukesh Ambani, crow, pigeon, Apoorva's dog ... the field of pure potentialities.

Who picks the potentiality of a crow? Science doesn't call it god, but what is god, if not the immeasurable potential of all that was, all that is, and all that will be. If god intended it to be the crow, the crow it was, the crow it is, and the crow it will be!

I say to the Mumbai Police Commissioner: you have to stop being the Jihadists and the Vatican of conservative and orthodox science which is not relevant anymore... And, all you have to do is to understand the principles of science and understand that you have within you the resources to intuitively grasp this mystery of the priest taking the avatar of a crow.

It doesn't really take quantum physics to understand all this, but you have taken physics, chemistry, and biology in your high school, haven't you? If there's anyone who has the credentials of Richard Feynman in quantum physics, it ought to be you!

1Italicized parts are quotes from Deepak Chopra during The Nightline Face-Off: Does God Have a Future? From ABC Nightline: Sam Harris and Michael Shermer vs. Deepak Chopra and Jean Houston, via New Age Nonsense. All errors and omissions in the interpretation, extension, and application of Chopra's observations to Apoorva's troubles are, of course, entirely mine.
2Hat tip to Amit Varma @India Uncut for Apoorva Chakravorty's story from the Mumbai Mirror.

  1. Ha Ha ha..you did the " Superimposition of all possibilities of the infinite " into this article, I just couldn't stop going through the whole 11 videos without getting angry at Deepak " conscious " Chopra.

    You look at the discussion and feel ( at least I thought ), sorry for Jean , Was she on weed? I just couldn't make sense of what she was on about. And Deepak behaved like he was a 8 yr old kid having a bad birthday party. It was ironical that Sam and Michael were more like monks in their approach where as Deepak was some kind of " Taliban " trying to convert everyone in Caltech to believe in his Woo - Woo.....Cheers Srikanth

  2. One word. Brilliant! I had a great time watching Deepak Chopra spouting utter nonsense about Quantum Mechanics at Caltech (of all places!). However your take on it was even funnier. Hats off! It's no mean feat to outdo the 'progressive' palaver of a charlatan as comical as Chopra and I commend you on your achievement! :)

    I came across your blog by complete accident but I'll surely keep coming again and again..

  3. Thank you for this, I really needed the giggle. I have a friend who keeps spouting woo just like this and gets very upset with me when I won't automatically buy into it. To his way of thinking, if I don't take every word at face value and don't stop asking those pesky questions, then I'm a narrow-minded puppet of the hidebound patriarchal conspiracy (or something.)


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