September 10, 2009

Oops! Victoria's Secret is Haram!

I'm Halal is a new search engine that has been launched as an alternative for safeguarding the religious and family values of Muslims [hat tip - the freethinker]. Not satisfied with the safe search modes available from other search engines such as Google and Yahoo, I'm Halal has been designed to filter search terms likely to return sites that may be offensive to Q'ranic followers. Admittedly, it's not for irreverent infidels like me, but hey, what the heck, I'm a certified gadget freak, so what's the harm in playing with it for a few minutes? Here are the top ten results:

10
Victoria's Secret - Oops! Your search inquiry has a Haram level of 1 out of 3. This means that the results fetched by ImHalal.com could be haram!
al-Quaida - no problem!
9
girls' education - Oops! Your search inquiry has a Haram level of 1 out of 3. This means that the results fetched by ImHalal.com could be haram!
boys' education - no problem!
8
love - Oops! Your search inquiry has a Haram level of 1 out of 3. This means that the results fetched by ImHalal.com could be haram!
bomb - no problem!
7
coitus - Oops! Your search inquiry has a Haram level of 2 out of 3. This means that the results fetched by ImHalal.com could be haram!
pedophilia - no problem!
6
adultery - Oops! Your search inquiry has a Haram level of 2 out of 3. This means that the results fetched by ImHalal.com could be haram!
polygamy - no problem!
5
lingerie - Oops! Your search inquiry has a Haram level of 2 out of 3. This means that the results fetched by ImHalal.com could be haram!
male enhancement - no problem!
4
homosexuality - Oops! Your search inquiry has a Haram level of 2 out of 3. This means that the results fetched by ImHalal.com could be haram!
honor killing - no problem!
3
prostitute - Oops! Your search inquiry has a Haram level of 3 out of 3! I would like to advise you to change your search terms and try again.
serial rapist - no problem!
2
clitoris - Oops! Your search inquiry has a Haram level of 3 out of 3! I would like to advise you to change your search terms and try again.
female genital mutilation - no problem!
1
Kamasutra - Oops! Your search inquiry has a Haram level of 3 out of 3! I would like to advise you to change your search terms and try again.
Mein Kampf - no problem!

Divine! Comes highly recommended for all those stand-up (sit-down, ROTF, whatever) comedians among you!

6 comments :
  1. Wow, I totally thought this must be a joke. Here's another fun one: "breastfeeding" is ok, but "breast milk" is haram.

    Somebody needs to work on their context filtering!

    ReplyDelete
  2. There is no such thing as "moderate islam". These morons are stuck in the dark ages.

    ReplyDelete
  3. hilarious! also, slightly disturbing, but hilarious nonetheless!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love is haram but Lust isn't. Thankfully, 'women's rights', 'feminism' and 'girls' education' aren't either.

    ReplyDelete
  5. wow. I thought you were kidding, until I tried out a couple of search terms you'd mentioned. Girls' education?!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. lol ... hilarious ...

    amazingly George Bush makes it through while Dick Cheney gets caught. ROFL.

    ReplyDelete

Leave a Comment