December 6, 2007

Ten Steps from Apple to Anti-Christ

I don't pay much heed to the Christian fundamentalists' rants on evolution. And, as a rational fool, I normally refrain from giving exposure to these irrational fools. Perhaps, that's why this gem from one Dr. Richard Paley, escaped my attention. Dr. Paley, apparently, is a true believer in the lie that god created everything from the quarks to the quasars, and the humans in between, in less than a week, 5000 odd years ago. His article, therefore, has the expected dose of diatribes against Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Stephen Jay Gould, and of course, Charles Darwin. Some are less common, for e.g., branding Pokemon, "which features animals "evolving" into new forms", Jurassic Park, and X-Men, as designed to subliminally propagate evolutionary theory among unsuspecting children.

What takes the cake? The evolution of the Apple Computer into an Anti-Christ! Here are the ten steps in this fantastic evolution [to conserve bandwidth, I have paraphrased Dr. Paley's brilliant insights, and edited out the inconsequential and minor mutations]:

  1. In the beginning, three decades ago, a long haired hippie from the silly_con valley named St.Eve, was tempted by a serpent in a garage to eat an Apple from the tree of digital knowledge.
  2. From an unholy union between St.Eve and Woz, another long-haired hippie, was born a devilish creation, computer, which was named after the Apple itself.
  3. St.Eve and Woz produced more Apples during their prolonged sinful life together, and began selling them at $666 each.
  4. After several mutations and recombinations, a new species of computers evolved from the Apples, and quickly spread among the Atheists and the Pagans, also called the "computer elite". It was named Mac_in_Tosh, obviously to endear it to the homophile sinners in the neighborhood.
  5. Then, the Mac_in_Tosh spawned countless satanic biomorphs, including a clone of itself, with the help of the devil-incarnate, Richard Dawkins. The biomorphs became ardent followers of Dawkins' cult of the blind atheist watchmakers.
  6. A number of lesser species bound to the Mac in symbiotic relationships, have also rapidly evolved into devilish creatures. The "HellFireWire", and the "TrashCan" are the most threatening of these to the people of faith.
  7. In 2002, St.Eve announced the birth of the eMac or the evolutionists' Mac, the product of an abject surrender of Apple's body and soul to the Devil.
  8. At the core of the Mac computer is a parasitic software species called "the operating system". The Mac operating system has followed its own, separate path of evolution. During its life, the MacOS unleashes many daemons, including some BSD Unix daemons, named "Beasties". The DNA of the BSD Unix incorporates a secret satanic code — chmod 666.
  9. In its current metamorphosis, the MacOS is aptly called the Darwin OS. Darwin OS has been observed to propagate itself in union with the licentious, Open Source, aka Communism.
  10. The most conclusive evidence for the Apple to have evolved into a consummate Anti-Christ, propagating Evolutionism and Satanism, is the chosen mascot for the Darwin OS, a platypus named "Hexley" after Darwin's supporter, Thomas Henry Huxley:
    Hexley

Is it me, or is this Dr. Paley for real? Pure joy!


Thanks, Ryan, for the emailed link.

1 comment :
  1. My Pleasure, somehow I knew it would get those creative juices flowing :-)

    ReplyDelete

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