December 27, 2006

Red-hot Rumors

Bloomberg reports here on the rumors circulating in Romania, on the eve of its joining the EU:

"I got alarmed when an old woman asked me whether it's true she would no longer be allowed to use the parsley she's been growing in her yard in her soup," said Anca Boagiu, the Romanian minister in charge of EU integration. "All sorts of ballads and legends have appeared. Truth is, bald people won't wake up with hair on their heads and those with hair won't go bald on the morning of January 1."

A Romanian government web site apparently has listed 22 rumors that are currently in circulation. Now, what may be the rumors, if the Communists were to seize control of India? Here's my list of 22:

  • Jyothi Basu is made the Honorary Chairman of China.
  • Stores are stocked up with rice noodles but out of wheat flour.
  • Shanghai Stock Exchange takes over Mumbai Stock Exchange.
  • Refugee camps in Kashmir for Palestenians fleeing Lebanan.
  • Achuthanandan inaugurates the world's longest sea bridge from Trivandrum to Dubai.
  • West Bengal Hight Court reinstates ban on Taslima Nasreen's Dwikhandito.
  • Rupee is pegged to Yuan.
  • Call center operators are required to answer in Bengali or Malayalam.
  • Mahathma Gandhi Road in every city and town has been renamed Mao Zedong Road.
  • Mamata Bannerjee has been exiled to Siberia.
  • Coca Cola and Pepsi Cola give away their formulae freely to Singur Cola.
  • Arundhati Roy is made the Foreign Minister for India, Bangladesh, and Pakistan.
  • Buddhadeb creates one billion new jobs, all in the Writer's Building, Kolkata.
  • China replaces US as the favorite destination for IIT graduates.
  • Hilsa is named as the National Fish of India.
  • Kerala is the most popular tourist destination for the Chinese Politburo.
  • 49.5% of Bollywood heroes must be from SC/ST/OBC.
  • President Karat visits Fidel Castro receiving Ayurvedic treatment in Kottakkal.
  • Every farmer is given a free Ferrari, with a Monsanto executive as chauffeur.
  • Microsoft moves its corporate headquarters from Seattle to Kolkata.
  • Saurav Ganguly has been made the captain of the Indian cricket team for life.
  • Your bank balance is topped up every morning to equal US per capita net worth.

On second thought, some of these may not be just rumors!

1 comment :
  1. If the last one isn't a rumour, Idon't care if the others are true. hehehe.


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